by popular demand, i am going to reveal the secret to making a grilled cheese sandwich with a ordinary clothes iron. grab your iron, a couple slices of bread, the cheese of your choice, a bit 0f butter, aluminum foil, a knife, an ironing board, and a telephone pre-programed with the number of your local emergency room or fire department.
if your ironing board is covered with clothes, books or crafts projects, you can clear off a bit of desk or book shelf space. i usually use a copy of guide to non-invasive cardiac diagnosis to prevent ruining my desktop, but, today, i’m working on my bookshelf and have chosen volume one of the webster’s third new international dictionary.
i like to protect my books with veneer of aluminum foil. despite the fact that i have never ruined a book with this technique, i never risk a library book or one borrowed from a friend. in a pinch, a hefty copy of the local phone book or yellow pages can stand in for any hardback.
pre-heating the iron to the hottest setting (without steam) is very important. extreme caution must be taken from this point forward. nothing ruins a tasty snack like 3rd degree burn and an unanticipated jaunt to the emergency room.
now on to the food prep! i spread soft butter on one side of each slice of bread. of course, you may prefer a goat butter, margarine or a heart healthy spread. there is plenty of room for improvisation here.
i’ve cut two identical sheets of foil large enough to cover my bread with a generous salvage. one slice is placed on a flat surface and the first slice of bread, butter side down is placed in the middle of this
i arrange a single layer or medium thick firm cheese precisely on top of the bread.
i top the sandwich with the final slice of bread, butter side up.
the second piece of foil tops off the sandwich stack. the entire sandwich containment unit is now transported to the grilling station.
the foil-swathed sandwich is place in the middle of the foil-enrobed book. it is important to make sure that no plastic or other melty items are near the sandwich. your plasticine figures of wallace and gromit might like to observe the grilling action, but, remember safety always comes first.
i set my timer for 30 seconds and immediately place the largest hot surface area of the iron directly over the foil protected sandwich.
when the timer sounds, i spring into action! the iron is placed on a heat safe surface and the foil package is gingerly flipped over. my best time for this is 4.3 seconds. i’m sure it’s a world record.
the timer is set for the final 30 seconds. timing is everything when it comes to the success of this classic culinary delight.
the iron goes back on the flip-side of the foil packet. the buttery aroma is intoxicating and the sizzling is music to my ears. the timer announces the ironing time it up!
with a hearty thank you, i remove the iron and turn it off. it’s job is done. i must now turn my attention to pulling back the protective foil to reveal the glorious sandwich.
the golden brown bread, the gooey cheese, the tantalizing aroma and no unsightly cheese glogged steam vents in the iron – who would not be moved to poetry?
or at least a haiku?
~~~
my toasty sandwich
delicious and comforting
every bite heaven!
